Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
