the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
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