She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
