The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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