Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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