It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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