no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
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