Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
