Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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