I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
