FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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