What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Randomize