the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
