is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
