we should wear snuggies to the strip club
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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