Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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