But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize