So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
