He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
