fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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