He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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