I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize