How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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