I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
