kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
