My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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