No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
