What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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