So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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