before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
