I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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