So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Randomize
