His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
