you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Randomize
