Sponge bath it is.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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