Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
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