im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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