I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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