if i can run in heels then i can drive
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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