He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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