He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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