I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize