Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize