The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I wanna passion pit in your ass
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
