I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I need a beard to bite.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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