he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
