Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
