please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
