Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
