woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Randomize
