No subtext here. People are naked.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
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