addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
