Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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