My room smells like vodka and shame
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Pooping to opera.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
