Define "chronic" masturbator.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
