Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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