I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
