we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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