If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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