thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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