His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm passing your future prison.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
