Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
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