He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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