How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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