why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
