But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
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