Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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