At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
