Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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