I didn't shave. On purpose
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
