Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Randomize
