This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
