so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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